I really resonate with that dichotomy Claire. The balance of peace of mind that planning brings against the ease and freedom of spontaneity. It's a tension to be managed for sure!
We just returned from a Mexican resort area where vendors are everywhere. I am planning to travel later in the new year to a literary event and so I must watch expenses. My husband does not need or want a new t-shirt or cap. I don’t buy souvenirs but I did buy a new dress that I didn’t need. Food expenses are easily managed. It is fun to people watch or walk so entertainment costs little. I am naturally spontaneous but as I get older, my tastes and appetites have changed.
Thanks so much for sharing that Joanne. It’s really interesting to hear how your tastes have changed as you entered a different season of life. I can definitely related to that!
Matt, well said. I see myself in the “rules you didn’t realize you were enforcing” part — especially how structure quietly shifts from support to constraint.
I love how nomadic life keeps surfacing these edge cases where discipline has done its job… and now needs to loosen. The truffles felt like the perfect small rebellion. Not reckless. Just human.
Practicing spontaneity instead of romanticizing it feels like the real work here.
I think we're a lot alike, Kelly! Thanks so much for reading and sharing your insight. I really agree with you on the real work being practicing spontaneity vs romanticizing it.
I feel that kinship too. And yes — the distinction between admiring spontaneity and actually practicing it feels like the whole hinge. I loved how you showed that it doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. Thanks again for the thoughtful exchange. 💛
Organized, disciplined, self-motivated. Off the charts. That’s me too. Luckily, my fiancé is spontaneous, so I get to try to emulate him when I want to. I feel validated, after reading your post, that I’m not alone in making rules and being good at keeping to them!
I love that we're spirit siblings Lora! :) Yes, our organization is definitely a super power, albeit one we then have to balance with spontaneity. I'm so glad you and your fiancé can help each other find a health middle ground!
I like being spontaneous day by day. I hate planning everything in advance. If I know I have to be some place at 2pm I don’t have the same quality of concentration as when I have an open agenda. I’d rather see what the weather is like and how I feel about a possible museum visit after my work is done.
But I get nervous when I don’t book our accommodations in advance. I need to have some stability. Planning brings peace of mind, too.
I completely understand this. Frugality, fear of the untried, and indecision are my spontaneity busters. Sadly, my partner is the same. We often vow to do better — it’s a slow process changing life-long habits.
We sound so much alike! Both Lisa and I are struggle with all of those spontaneity busters too, and vow to do better just like you two. It is a slow process to change, but we've actually made progress on our current trip. We went on a dune buggy ride across Hawaii with a couple we just met on this cruise which was a big step for us. You and your partner can do this too, JL. We've got this :)
I can still hear in my head something I said decades ago when a friend called me out on the same rules. "I promise to be spontaneous soon." We laughed at the ridiculousness of scheduling spontaneity. And I'm better at it, but your post reminds me how much better I could be.
We have made the same joke about ourselves! It does sound ridiculous on the surface but there's something about committing to practicing spontaneity that makes it become more organic.
I really resonate with that dichotomy Claire. The balance of peace of mind that planning brings against the ease and freedom of spontaneity. It's a tension to be managed for sure!
We just returned from a Mexican resort area where vendors are everywhere. I am planning to travel later in the new year to a literary event and so I must watch expenses. My husband does not need or want a new t-shirt or cap. I don’t buy souvenirs but I did buy a new dress that I didn’t need. Food expenses are easily managed. It is fun to people watch or walk so entertainment costs little. I am naturally spontaneous but as I get older, my tastes and appetites have changed.
Thanks so much for sharing that Joanne. It’s really interesting to hear how your tastes have changed as you entered a different season of life. I can definitely related to that!
Matt, well said. I see myself in the “rules you didn’t realize you were enforcing” part — especially how structure quietly shifts from support to constraint.
I love how nomadic life keeps surfacing these edge cases where discipline has done its job… and now needs to loosen. The truffles felt like the perfect small rebellion. Not reckless. Just human.
Practicing spontaneity instead of romanticizing it feels like the real work here.
– Kelly
I think we're a lot alike, Kelly! Thanks so much for reading and sharing your insight. I really agree with you on the real work being practicing spontaneity vs romanticizing it.
I feel that kinship too. And yes — the distinction between admiring spontaneity and actually practicing it feels like the whole hinge. I loved how you showed that it doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. Thanks again for the thoughtful exchange. 💛
Organized, disciplined, self-motivated. Off the charts. That’s me too. Luckily, my fiancé is spontaneous, so I get to try to emulate him when I want to. I feel validated, after reading your post, that I’m not alone in making rules and being good at keeping to them!
I love that we're spirit siblings Lora! :) Yes, our organization is definitely a super power, albeit one we then have to balance with spontaneity. I'm so glad you and your fiancé can help each other find a health middle ground!
aw, I’m really proud of you. ya gotta live a little as they say. and my vote is for “ray buns”
Thank you buddy! And I agree with ray buns :)
I like being spontaneous day by day. I hate planning everything in advance. If I know I have to be some place at 2pm I don’t have the same quality of concentration as when I have an open agenda. I’d rather see what the weather is like and how I feel about a possible museum visit after my work is done.
But I get nervous when I don’t book our accommodations in advance. I need to have some stability. Planning brings peace of mind, too.
Good for you!
Many thanks! Well, just one would probably suffice, so... thank!
People don't understand how you can be a nomad AND a control freak (within reason). But it's a thing!
Right? I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
Life is too short to NOT be spontaneous! Welcome to the other side of life! :) from two babies of the family. HaHa!
You're so right June! And yes, we babies need to stick together :)
I completely understand this. Frugality, fear of the untried, and indecision are my spontaneity busters. Sadly, my partner is the same. We often vow to do better — it’s a slow process changing life-long habits.
We sound so much alike! Both Lisa and I are struggle with all of those spontaneity busters too, and vow to do better just like you two. It is a slow process to change, but we've actually made progress on our current trip. We went on a dune buggy ride across Hawaii with a couple we just met on this cruise which was a big step for us. You and your partner can do this too, JL. We've got this :)
I can still hear in my head something I said decades ago when a friend called me out on the same rules. "I promise to be spontaneous soon." We laughed at the ridiculousness of scheduling spontaneity. And I'm better at it, but your post reminds me how much better I could be.
We have made the same joke about ourselves! It does sound ridiculous on the surface but there's something about committing to practicing spontaneity that makes it become more organic.